My first week at Lenox Hill had been...eventful, to say the least. Despite my heavy workload I had managed to make friends and have a semblance of a social life. However, nothing so positive could be said for my relationship with Edward 'dipshit' Masen. He had not too slowly over the course of the week managed to not only alienate me but I could also honestly say that I hated the man with a passion. He was the most chauvinistic, arrogant pig I had ever met. The problem was that I had stupidly invited him to the house-warming party at my apartment Alice had insisted on. I knew she would have invited him to appease Jasper and I hoped he was only coming to have a good time and socialise. However, I knew there were two other reasons he was coming. One, he'd be able to snoop around my living space and through all of my possessions. Two, he knew just how much it was going to piss me off popping up every five minutes while I was mingling with my guests after all the crap, performances and stunts he'd pulled all week. He would no doubt be like a dog not so discretely humping my leg as I weaved around people dancing and drinking.
I had no idea how many people Alice had invited, but what better way to make new friends than to invite complete strangers into your home? Alice had kindly offered to come food shopping with me so we could get plenty to feed the onslaught of people that would be stepping over my threshold. Then again she'd invited them all so she knew what I would need. When I woke up that morning I lazily threw my les over the side of the bed as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, feeling like there were little men holding the lids down like there was something saucy hidden behind them they didn't want to share. I'll tell you now, what's behind those flimsy curtains ain't pretty. I pushed myself off the bed and staggered into the bathroom, groping around the sink for my toothbrush. I knew the only logical way to find the little fucker would be to open my eyes but I swear they were welded shut. I actually had to prise them open with my thumb and forefinger. Note to self, do not do this to eyes while standing in front of a mirror unless you want to almost shit yourself again.
You might not be so lucky next time. I never thought we'd get bad enough to have to wear diapers at the tender age of twenty-seven.
As if this ass is anywhere near needing diapers! Please! This ass could make diapers fashionable.
And as if by magic my inner monologue was back. I hadn't heard from her since I'd first met Alec. She was never too sure of him but the sex had been great.
I filled the sink and splashed my face at least ten times to wake my lazy ass up. I pulled the toothpaste from the cupboard and probably squeezed too much onto the brush and scrubbed my teeth before going to find something to wear. I put on my high-waisted jeans, they made my ass look fabulous and my stomach completely flat. Now I was nowhere near a porker but working as a doctor can go one of two ways; either you eat very little and weight isn't an issue or you eat too much crap at crazy hours and get a spare tyre creeping around your middle. Now I didn't have a spare training wheel let alone a tyre, but I was on my way to getting one and had yet to sort out a gym membership. It's on my to do list, stop with the pressure. I'd do it tomorrow, I needed to enjoy the colossal drinking session I was planning for my party and then make it better in the morning. Yes, that's right people, I said drinking session, Edward 'dipshit' Masen has driven me to drink.
I threw on the rest of my outfit, hoping Alice would approve. I'm not five but that little woman is a big scary bitch. She'd made a habit out of making me change repeatedly before giving up completely and dressing me up like Barbie, then we'd argue for ten minutes before reaching a compromise we both could live with. The girl just did not do boundaries, and if I were a lesbian I would totally enjoy those time together.
I picked up my purse and car keys and headed out the door, locking it behind me before I headed the short distance down the hall to Alice's apartment. I could hear giggling as I knocked on the door.
"Just a second...!" she called through the door, sounding flustered. Either she was tending to her lady garden or Jasper hadn't stayed at his own condo last night. I was guessing it was the latter. Not everyone was as unlucky as me when it came to sexual activities. Also, she may appear to follow him around like a love-sick puppy but in actuality she had him wrapped around her little finger tighter than a tiny condom on a very well-endowed cock.
"Alice, I can always go shopping by myself if you're too busy fornicating with Jasper."
And bingo! The giggling and muffled groaning stopped.
"No!" she yelped. "I'm not fornicating with Jasper..." she laughed nervously, "What makes you think that?
"Don't insult my intelligence Ms. Brandon, I know sex noises when I hear them."
The front door swung open, revealing Alice in a silk nightdress and Jasper...well, he was a sight and a half for sore eyes. He was tied to a dining room chair with a pillow covering his junk. Well, I say covering...
"Well good morning Mr. Whitlock." I said in that sexy Pussy Galore fashion when greeting James Bond.
He grinned at me broadly. "Mornin' Bella."
I grinned widely as I turned back to Alice.
"So not so much fornicating as light bondage..."
"Please don't tell Edward," Alice begged me, it really didn't suit her. "It's really none of his business anyway." And there she was.
Jasper was still smirking up at her.
"Oh don't worry, I have no intention of telling dipshit, I mean Edward, no I do mean dipshit. I assure you." I placed my hand over my heart and shook a little as I contained my laughter.
Just as I finished speaking a throat cleared behind me. I turned to see the dipshit himself standing right behind me. And ladies, when I say right behind me I mean cock-penetration very possible right behind me.
"Did I just walk into a porno?" he asked inquisitively, annoying bastard. "Of course not. Swan, you've still got all your clothes on! Here," he someone got even closer, "Let me help you with that."
His hand grazed the curve of my ass, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't moan just a little. Silently of course, I didn't want him thinking I was enjoying it. Because I wasn't.
And denial is a river in Egypt.
Shut up!
I turned to face him, forced to tilt my head up to see his face.
"Do you remember what happened the last time you touched me like that? You're lucky I only dislocated them. Now get your grubby, womanizing mitts off of me you perv!"
Don't you mean on?
Oh get fucked!
I'm trying, I'm trying!
His hands retreated to his chest and he winced. Yeah, he remembered not being able to whack off for a while.
"Bella..." he purred, "That hurt!" Smug, sexy bastard.
The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it Bella.
Oh get a grip! He's not a temptation, he's a pain in the ass! And since when did you go all Oscar Wilde on me?
I was broken out of my argument with the inner slut by his sexy voice again. Voice! I mean his voice.
"Jasper, dude, I never knew you were into that kinky shit!" he laughed loudly, looking like an idiot as he was the only one. Well, he didn't need to laugh to look like an idiot but it sure helped! Alice stared at him with her hands on her hips, clearly pissed. And ladies and gentlemen, she is not a woman you want pissed.
"Edward, what are you doing here?" she glared up at him, her voice dangerously controlled. I thought his face might melt off.
"Well pixie, your little prisoner what the fuck ever," he began as he waved in Jasper's direction, "Was meant to meet me at the gym an hour ago so exsqueeze me for coming to find the fucker. I figured he'd be whoring it up with you."
He turned his head and smiled crookedly at me. Shit, hadn't realised I'd been staring at him.
Look away Bella, avert your eyes!
But he's so pretty...
Shut up! You're not helping.
I scowled and swallowed thickly, two things I never thought possible to exist together in the exact same moment, but when you're arguing with your inner voice and a wet dream is standing in front of you...
I looked away to clear my head, switching my view to Alice who looked utterly defeated but still a determined fighter. Nothing ever stopped her, she was like a Duracell bunny on crack.
"Fine, take him! But I want him back in perfect shape for the party tonight." She even had that scary-ass finger of hers out and working overtime!
"What do you think we go to the gym for? And Jazz, get dressed. I'm not going outside with you butt nekked," he ordered, "Again." he added after a moment. Now there was something I was going to have to find out more about...but another time. Too many other things to worry about, including hurricane Alice on the horizon.
"Yeah come on Alice, we have tonnes of shopping to do. This was your idea after all. I thought you'd be out the door at the crack of dawn!
She dipped her head as if she was ashamed. Tut tut tut Alice Brandon...but then I saw the smirk and knew she was nothing of the sort!
"Give us...ten minutes," she said before hooshing us out the door and slamming it in our faces.
It was only after I'd nodded my head and found myself face-to-face with her door that I realised I'd be stuck out in the hall with the sexy dipshit, I mean the dipshit, for those ten minutes.
"Great," I sighed, annoyed. After all, he was still an annoying as fuck bastard.
Sexy annoying as fuck bastard you want to...
Oh shut up!
Even my traitorous girly bits were singing an opera for him. It's not over until the waxed kitty purrs huh?
"So, what time do you want me tonight Swan?" he smirked, all pleased with himself and shit like he'd made some hilarious joke.
A quarter to sex, horny, wet and ready.
Shut up you whore!
I'm you so you're the whore.
Am not!
Are too!
Am not!
You have to be the only ‘whore’ on the planet that ain’t getting any honey. Poor baby.
Oh hush.
I leant against the wall next to Alice's door, blocking out the moans and giggles coming from the other side, and looked up at him.
"You seriously think I'm happy to wait out her and make small talk with you? And I don't want you at all, nobody in their right mind would want you in their house, except maybe your mother. Then again, she's kind of forced to have you there!"
Methinks the lady doth protest too much...
You’re grating on my nerves now.
"So we're onto 'you're mom' jokes now? Ok Swan, whatever floats your boat..."
I put my finger up in front of his face to shut him up for my next verbal assault.
"Is that for me to suck on?"
Yes please.
That one was you.
Was not!
Was so!
Was not!
Was so!
Was not!
Check the transcript honey!
It was not! Now shut up!
Whatever.
I glared at him.
"Don't start with the whole 'your mother' thing. I don't want to know anything about the poor woman who was forced to raise you and I'm not divulging any information about mine either, so you can cut the chit chat and go wait in your car.
"Last time I looked this was a communal hall Bella."
"Fine, then I'll go wait in my car. I really don't need the air I'm breathing to be more polluted than it already is. And if you stand any closer I might go all exorcist and spew on you."
"So damn sexy Swan, you blow my mind!"
I know something to blow...
Your brains out if you don't shut up!
Oh tell me you weren't thinking it!
Shut up!
See?
"It's the only damn thing I will be blowing, so sorry to burst your bubble!" I smirked as I turned and sauntered down the hall to the elevator.
"So shall we say about nine then?" he smirked triumphantly, like he'd actually gotten what he wanted! Jerk!
I flipped him the bird and took the elevator down to the main reception.
................................................................................................................................................
"Don't you think this dress is a little tight Alice?"
If fit like a very small child's glove, my boobs were popping out from every angle and I'm sure my vagina was on display it was so short. She waved her hand at me and frowned.
"Oh don't be silly Bella, you look hot. You want to impress Alec and Edward don't you?" She giggled at the last name and the look of thunder on my face. She may be hurricane Alice but I was hurricane fucking Bella and I'd just about had enough of her little comments! But I held in my anger.
Yes, Edward was coming to the party but I had no desire to impress him.
Yeah right.
What did I tell you?
Seen and not heard.
Exactly.
But technically you can't see me and since it's one or the other...
Whore.
Still you honey.
I rolled my eyes and ignored her some more. Besides, Alice was right. Well, half right. Alec had been distant the past couple of weeks so this was a good opportunity to show him what he'd been missing, and I was horny as fuck. Mama needed her some cock!
Too right sister!
And we were back on speaking terms.
Even if it is Alec I guess it's better than nothing...
And it was gone again.
"Yeah well if it bursts open when I eat or drink or start moving you are totally to blame and I will hunt you down and murder you, ok? I know exactly how to make a cut to the femoral artery look accidental."
"Yeah, yeah...and if you get groped in all the right places by either guy than I want some sort of thanks in the form of boxes of chocolates and sparkly things!"
Who wants to be groped in the right places when there are so many good wrong places?
Too right.
What? When a woman is right a woman is right!
We finished getting ready and started setting up the food and drinks in the kitchen. I loved having an open plan apartment; it made everything so much easier, and brighter. Alice said it was great for parties, my thoughts on that was having rooms with closed doors seemed like a good opportunity for guests to snoop around and have sex on or in your bed! And since I'd yet to begin the relationship with mine satisfactorily that was never going to be an option for anyone but me.
By the time everything was set up it was close to nine and the first guests were arriving. As the bell rang I buzzed people up, went to the door straightening out my loin cloth and hair before opening the door to some of the nurses and their dates. I said my hellos and invited them in while Alice has a love affair with the stereo picking out some music.
After an hour or two the apartment was filled with people. Alice was getting anxious as Jasper was yet to arrive, which made me happy as it meant prince prick was also yet to arrive.
Sad.
Happy.
Sad.
Happy!
I'd already had a fair few drinks and was on my way to being properly plastered when I saw Alec come through the door that had become easier to leave open. He made his way over to me through the crowd of people.
"Bella, what's going on?"
"We're having a party...a house warming since we just moved here! It was Alice's idea!"
"I don't know any of these people!"
"Well if you walk around more and mingle you'd get to know some of them!"
I'd gone from happy to pissed, and not the drunk kind, in less than a minute. Seemed to be happening more and more often with Alec, when he was around that is. How fucking dare he get pissed off at me for not knowing the people I worked with who I had invited to my apartment when he hadn't been around! Inner whore knew to keep her mouth shut.
"You know I can't be here that often 'cos of my job Bella!"
"Yeah, yeah, it's all about your job! It's so hard and time-consuming to take pictures of scantily clad women!"
"You know it's more than that! Don't be so melodramatic."
And now he was scolding me? Fucker was about to get a de-balling. I'd make do with Battery Bob! We all know he was guaranteed to work every time anyway.
"I haven't seen you in three weeks and you expect me to be all happy and jump to attention when you do show up?!"
"I expect you to fucking understand! And what the hell are you wearing? You look like a hooker!"
"You would fucking know Alec, you spend enough time with them!"
I would've been more pissed than I was about having a full blown argument in front of the people I work with but none of them seemed that interested to tell the truth. I fumed as I glared up at Alec. He was fuming back as he grabbed my arm tightly.
"Don't talk to me like that; you know it's not true!"
"Let go you asshole, you're hurting me!" I tried to pull my arm away but he just tightened his hold. I was starting to get pins and needles in my hand and I knew the look on my face had to tell him that.
"Something wrong Bella?"
I turned my head to see the dipshit, also known as Masen, standing beside me.
Oh great, just what I need.
Alec turned to look at him just as I did, his hand still tight on my arm.
"Who the fuck are you?" Alec asked before turning to me and yelling some more. "Who the fuck is this guy Bella?" He looked between the two of us scowling, his grip still tight.
"He's an asshole just like you! Now let go!" I yanked at my arm again but he yanked it back.
"I'm her boyfriend dickwad!" the dipshit-who-maybe-wasn't-completely-a-dipshit-since-it-seemd-he-was-trying-to-defend-me-but-he-was-still-a-dipshit came out with.
I slapped my forehead. He really was a dumb as he looked.
"Is that right?" Alec replied, "Well I'm Bella's boyfriend, Alec."
"Oh, so you're the reason she has to resort to self-service."
Ok, so maybe I smirked at that one. It deserved a smirk at least!
And it was true.
Yeah. Hey! Keep out of it, I can only deal with two idiots at a time.
Three...
Alec puffed up his pathetic excuse for a chest, trying to look macho in front of Masen. I put my free hand up against it to stop him from doing something he'd regret. Even though I'd have happily watched them rip into each other I really didn't feel like cleaning Alec's blood up from my carpet or being the reason for the end of a surgeons career due to broken hands.
"Alec, seriously, let go of my arm. It's just a party." Reluctantly he finally let go of my arm and I managed to keep the gasp silent as the blood painfully rushed back down it straight to my fingertips.
Like a coward I almost ran to where Alice was standing, frozen to the spot in shock. I just did not want to have to deal with any of that shit, it could wait until I was sober.
"What's going on?" she quickly turned her attention to my arm, "You're going to have a bruise there..."
"He's pissed about the party," I replied, "And Masen's a dick!"
She giggled.
"Bella, that's nothing new! What did he do this time?"
"He told my boyfriend that he was my boyfriend! Like I really need the hassle! Jerk!"
I looked over at Masen, who was now busy chatting up one of the other doctors I'd been introduced to while looking down her top. I guessed from their body language that they were acquainted in the sexual sense just as much, if not more, than the friendly sense. Alice soon confirmed my suspicions.
"That's Tanya Denali," she explained, "You know that irritating patient of Edward's, Irina? Well, that's her sister. She and Edward were an item of sorts. Fuck buddies really but she just won't let him go."
I hadn't realised I was still staring until he winked at me and she scowled. I frowned as I turned away.
You really have to stop doing that Bella, unless you want him to know you think he's fuckable.
Do not.
Do too.
Do not!
Oh whatever Egypt girl.
"I need a drink. Is there any more of that good tequila?"
I made my way into the kitchen area, alright staggered, and found the only bottle of tequila in sight, which of course was empty. Carrying it with me, I somehow managed to crouch my way down to the cupboard in a dignified fashion before going in search of another bottle to replace it in a not so dignified fashion in the back. What? That's the normal place to keep the liquor.
You tell yourself that Egypt girl.
Oh you're worse than my mother! I know exactly what I'm doing, and the odd night of shit-faced after all the other shit I dealt with was not going to kill me.
Yeah, I suppose...
Suppose?
Yeah, a bottle of liquor is the last of your worries when you're arguing with yourself in the middle of a party.
Oh...shut up!
Great come back!
Sarcastic much?
Only when the occasion calls for it.
After my undignified search bore no fruit, and I silently cursed the person who had raided my stash, I stood up a little too quickly, and also forgot where the worktop was. The result of all this was a major head-rush quickly followed by an ear-splitting, teeth-shaking head bang, and not in a good way. I cried out in pain, my eyes quickly flooding themselves.
"Holy shit!" It fucking smarted!
I put my hand to the back of my hand, feeling around gingerly. Luckily there was no blood but there was a lovely big lump forming that would go along quite well with my bruised arm. I was quickly starting to look like a domestic violence victim! And I'd seen one too many of them in my time...
This is why you should know your limits since you can't hold your drink whore, and then you wouldn't be so clumsy.
Oh shut up, I'm not clumsy and I can hold my drink just fine. And the whore remark? Not cool. Besides, you're the whore, whore! Whore whore! That's sounds funny!
She rolled her eyes at me while I giggled to myself before standing up.
As I stood up straight I squinted my eyes against the pain, like that was really going to help!
I slowly put one foot in front of the other my eyes continued to squint as the pain shot through my head like daggers. On my travels I walked past a group of guys who smirked at me. Yeah dudes, I'm so not winking at you! Geeze!
.
Finally I found myself in my bedroom, seeking solace from the noise. Ok, so if I hadn't banged my head I'd totally be out there partying! But since I had I was scurrying off to my room like an old lady to seek out the silence! If you banged the back of your head off of a worktop you'd do the same thing! Judgemental crowd you are!
Once inside my room, with the door firmly shut, I sat on my bed rubbing the extremely tender bump on my head, hoping to God I didn't have a concussion.
Might've knocked some sense into you, Masen is très, très sexy...
He is pretty hot tonight in his jeans and shirt...Ok, that's gotta be the concussion talking, or the drink, maybe the concussion.
Tell yourself that Egypt girl.
I must've passed out soon after that because the next thing I knew I could hear voices and feel hot, sweet breath on my face.
"Maybe she's dead..."
"She's not dead numb nuts, she's breathing! See. Chest up, chest down."
"I'm staring at her chest but I fail to see what you're referring to. I'd happily perform mouth to mouth...!"
"I knew you wanted to kiss her!"
"I'm simply offering to save her life pixie!"
I could hear the smirk in his voice just before a pair of soft, warm lips pressed against mine.
Have you realised just how much you're enjoying this kiss from Dr. Good Body?
I'm not enjoying it! And his name is doctor dipshit! Ha! Double D! Like his job! Job...
Maybe you should open your mouth and do a job!
Whore!
Egypt girl. And if you're not enjoying it maybe you should open your eyes and push him off!
I opened my eyes widely to be met with the view of perfect copper hair.
"See, I revived her! You owe me your life now Swan!"
"Bullshit! I was sleeping you asshole! And I'm pretty sure when they teach you mouth to mouth it doesn't involve you blocking my airway with your tongue." I pushed him off of me and sat up, earning myself yet another head rush.
I looked around, not entirely sure if I was seeing the amount of people I was seeing or if I was just seeing double.
"What are you all doing in my room?"
"We wondered where you'd gone, it is your party after all Bella." I guess Alice had a point but this was my sanctuary from the party, and I really needed it after what had happened.
"Come on Alice, we'll leave her to it." Why just Alice? Take the douche with you too!
Edward stayed sitting on my bed next to me as Alice and Jasper walked out, horny bloody rabbits!
"That's your cue to leave manwhore. I don't need a murse looking after me."
"I'm not going anywhere. You've got a huge bump on your head, you're practically inebriated enough to fuel a brewery and your tired. Plus, your party is dead in the water and your boyfriend, and I use that term very lightly, kicked everyone out before leaving himself."
Oh this might just keeps getting better and better.
And you call me sarcastic.
Oh hush!
So all my guests had gone, as well as my co-host, and my 'boyfriend', yes I use that term lightly as well, had gone too. Jerkoff fucker.
“Well then you can help me clean up out there seen as Alice has left.”
I stood up off the bed, ignoring the headrush. That botch wasn’t going to help me get my apartment clean.
“Why don’t you leave it ‘til the morning and get some sleep.”
It’s not sleep he has on his mind...
I ignored her, I really wasn’t in the mood.
“Because I’m not a slob like you. I bet your place is covered in crud and filthy magazines!”
He didn’t deny it, just shrugged. Too gross!
“Just like I said.” I took a step back, clearing his way to the door. “Now if you’re not gonna help you can go.”
He sat on my bed staring at my chest. I actually liked the fact that he didn’t hide his fascination with my breasts, but said fascination also creeped me out a little, his chosen profession not helping with that.
He said they were perfect, stop worrying.
I’m not worrying, I know full well they’re perfect!
“I’m up here buddy!”
His eyes slowly moved up to mine, the familiar smirk spread across his face.
“Well I guess I can help you clean up. Want a drink? I found a bottle of tequila hidden in one of your presses.”
Ok, so the man was a genius, and a tequila thief.
I took the bottle from him a let a swig of the silky liquid burn down my throat. After a few more gulps I was once more drunk, then very, very drunk. A good thing since the inner voice/whore couldn’t form a coherent thought, but it made me very sleepy.
I yawned in a very unlady-like fashion right in his face. Rude and gross, yes, but he’d decided to sit extremely close. He stared down at my mouth silently.
It was hard to keep my eyes open but I saw the look on his face.
I know...what he’s...he’s thinking...
Written all over his face what he was thinking, even a blind man would know what he was thinking! Then the smirk returned.
“Is that an open invitation Swan?” he asked suggestively as his hands made their way to his belt.
He played with his buckle, waiting to see what I’d do, and I felt a sudden uncontrollable urge to throw up. I didn’t have time to walk, run or crawl to the bathroom before I puked in his lap.
Now, if this was any other party and I was a bystander to this shabby remake of the exorcist, then I’d have been laughing my head off at the look on Edward’s face. It really was priceless. However, my traitor of a body gave my embarrassment away in the form of a bright red blush spreading across my face.
“Oh my god! I’m so sorry!”
I put my hand over my mouth, the sour taste of vomit making me want to spew again.
Carrots, why is it always carrots? And when was the last time you ate carrots?
Don’t be a twit, alcohol does not excuse twit-like idiocy! It’s just some stomach lining.
Really doesn’t make me feel any better.
Me neither, but at least I’m not a twit.
Just really drunk.
Yeah.
He kind of leaned away from me and the vomit but didn’t go running for the hills like I’d expected.
“Swan, I normally sleep with a girl before I let her puke on me.”
I think I’d rather he was disgusted with me rather than making jokes.
I think you’d rather it was another bodily fluid that had erupted from you and onto his lap.
“Why is it always sex with you?” I wasn’t entirely sure which one I was talking to, both I suppose.
I’d somehow found myself halfway on the floor and, without knowing how yet again, I somehow found the strength to drag myself into enough of a standing position to make my way into the bathroom and close the door behind me.
“Swan, I kind of need to clean myself up here. I’m not going out with your puke all over me. Your spew on the other hand I could definitely handle!” Was he really trying to make me blow chunks for a second time in as many minutes?
I groaned, feeling sick again. It was the mention of the word ‘puke’ that triggered it, and was increased by everything else he said after that. I brushed my teeth, rinsed, then dragged myself to the door and opened it.
“Clean yourself up and then you can leave. And don’t you dare breathe a word to anyone about this or you’re dead, do you hear me?” Even drunk and pathetic looking as I was I knew I could still pull off scary when I needed to. Alice Brandon wasn’t the only one with a dangerous pointer finger!
He nodded and held his hands up in surrender. I slid down to the floor next to the toilet, still feeling sick. It looked like we were going to be buddies for the night, or at least stuck together for a while.
Standing by the sink, he took his shirt off, leaving him topless and completely lickable. If my vomit hadn’t been all over him I totally would have, maybe, possibly, probably.
Who are you kidding? The only thing stopping you is your drunken stupid!
And my sense of self worth.
If you had proper control over your body you’d be all over him faster than a speeding bullet.
No-one can go faster than a speeding bullet, I’ve never come so quickly!
You know exactly what I mean.
I have more pride than to jump him honey.
Yeah right.
“Does your ‘buddy’ Alec leave any shirts here?” he asked as he wiped at his jeans, having given up all hope of saving his shirt.
“Yeah, there’s one on the back of my bedroom door.” I could barely keep my head upright, there was no way I was going to make it to the bedroom door and back.
He left to get the shirt and came back in kicking off his shoes and yanking off his socks. I was looking up at him as he began unbuckling his pants.
“I’m not having sex with you Masen, do them back up.”
Oh who are you kidding? If he were to whip it out standing to attention your legs would be wrapped around him tighter than a boa constrictor!
Would not.
Would too.
Would not!
Egypt.
“I’m not taking them off for that reason,” he said as he smirked at me, “You seemed to have perfect aim at my crotch!”
I tilted my head to the side as I examined his jeans. Huh, he was right.
You’re staring at his crotch Bella.
Yeah, just a few more seconds.
I’m not complaining.
He cleaned up his pants with some wet wipes and a little soap and warm water. It only took a few minutes to dry them with my hairdryer.
“Come on drunkard, you need fluids and sleep.”
He dragged me to my feet and led me out to the kitchen. Fuck this place was a tip!
“Here.”
He pushed a glass of water into my hands. When did he get this? And when did he get those bin bags?
You’re very drunk honey, the sky could be falling and you wouldn’t notice.
Oh, right.
I downed the glass of water in one go. I’d never tasted anything so good! I vaguely remember standing up and wobbling around the place, picking up rubbish and getting it into black bags. After that I was lying in clouds with an empty puddle beside me in case I needed to fill it and more of the tastiest water ever in existence next to my head. The dickwad said something about not dying stupidly, I think, and then it was so soft and black.
It’s called, cleaning the apartment, Dr. Good Body making sure you don’t die and then unconsciousness Bella.
Oh shut up and let me sleep.
